Tidbit

I apologize for not having too much in the way of Awesomery to speak of in the last few weeks. But I hope this video clip will cause your lips to turn upward.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioXOGyRHJKE&feature=sub

Auld Lang Syne

As I sit in the remaining hours of “OT” Nine, I realize that there are some things about this year that I am particularly going to miss. First and foremost, the privilege of saying “OT” in place of saying zero or simply “0” as though I am in some sort of old-timey speak easy relaying tails of how we fought against the Kaiser back in “OT seven” (I know my math is likely chronologically inaccurate, but I hope you follow my drift…). This last decade has been very favorable to offer up such a simple and inane pleasure.

I am grateful for the fact that I have this blog. It may seem silly to some, but it has allowed me to connect with many different people that would not otherwise be privy to the inner monologue that is more commonly known as The Pathway of Awesomery. I was tickled the other day to learn that my grandparents are in fact devout followers of the Path, and that they eagerly anticipate new posts. This is new and resounding evidence that walking in the ways of Awesomery is not limited to age. Following suit, I am currently instructing my young daughters in the intrinsic nature of the Path. I hope that their young minds will serve as veritable sponges—soaking in all that is Awesome; allowing them to become little Jedi knights of Awesomery.

I know that I must be more diligent in the upcoming year to post more often, and I genuinely intend to do just that. I won’t bore my fellow followers of the Path with my list of resolutions for 2010, but I will encourage you to at least make a mental inventory of some items that you would like to develop over the next year. Personal progress is in fact—awesome, and should really only be gauged by the beholder.

Great is the Path, Happy New Year.

Holiday...(celebrate!)

The holiday season has enveloped me like a really big envelope.

I have been so busy with all that is so much not related to the holidays, that I have been neglecting the writings of the Path. So today, I will leave you with two brief items:

First, I wish all of you to enjoy your holiday times. And as a supplement to those times, I give you this...A movie on me.

At any Redbox terminal you can enter the promo code "DVDONME" and it will give you a free one night rental. I don't understand why or how, but sometimes the Pathway drops little nuggets of awesome in your lap.

Second, my young offspring is learning Christmas carols for a daycare Xmas program. I asked her to relay them to me in tune this evening, and I was happy to hear that she could not only carry the tune, but had taken the liberty of making the lyrics her own.

"We wish you Merry Christmas

We wish you Merry Christmas

We wish you Merry Christmas

and a happy New Year...

good tied up your things to you and your kids

We wish you Merry Christmas

and a happy New Year..."

I nearly peed from laughter.

Great is the Path

Solitude can help to amplify the voices...and inspire a halloween costume

I went to see a late movie this evening. And to my surprise, I was the only person in the entire theatre. Now this may seem inconsequential to most people, but I found it fascinating.

I began to work through all the various scenarios that would have led to this occurrence. I realize that I was viewing a film that had been released 3+ weeks previous, but I thought that there would be a few stragglers, such as myself, that had yet to have seen the film. Yet alas, I was the sole attendee.

Then I thought that 10:30 pm on a Sunday evening is not exactly the peak moviegoer time slot. While most are at home preparing for the pending work week, I choose to spit in the proverbial face of convention. The Pathway rewards those that buck convention.

Strangely, I found the fact that I was alone in the theatre made me ridiculously paranoid. I laughed aloud a few times throughout the course of the movie, and I found the sound of my own cackle rather obnoxious as it bounced back to me from the theatre’s audio-configured space.

I also began to create all kinds of far-fetched scenarios involving myse

lf and the fact that I was alone in the large auditorium…

Visions of apocalyptic zombie infestations began to fill my head. I started to come up with an exit strategy if a wayward zombie started his/her way up the aisle. But on the other side of the coin, I realized a movie theatre is an ideal place to barricade one’s self.

6-35 movies to view (depending on the multiplex in which you are trapped) you have a volume of entertainment to pass the time until the undead turn to necrophiliac fodder. An abundance of preservative ridden sustenance: popcorn, nachos, hot dogs, and those comically giant (yet delicious) pickles. Once you have barricaded all the doors, all you have to worry about is the cliché of a zombie bursting through the cinema screen. Not even a newly reanimated corpse would be so trite.

After all the thoughts of zombies subsided, my next complex was that of being watched. How strange is it that if I was in an auditorium full of movie-goers, when I would in fact have a multitude of eyes fixed on the back of my head, I would feel less paranoid when I know that I am the only pulse in the room.

Moral…there is none. Let your internal monologue trespass into the mundane. It is the only way I know to let the funny escape. Restraint is overrated. The Pathway is Great!

Your Ipod can be a divining rod for awesomery...

I decided to put my 6000 (I'm not bragging) plus song ipod on random as I was driving home from the office today to see what would transpire. Now I cannot speak for the fellow followers of the Path, but I am always amazed at the subtle intuitiveness of my inanimate electronic device. It seems to know what song I want to hear next. That is

of course unless I am running on a treadmill at the gym. Then it only seems to play Debbie Gibson tunes. Electric Youth really gets me amped up!!!!(That will be a topic for a later post)

I went through a seamless Joe Jackson to Simple Minds to Talking Heads to Elvis Costello to Neal Finn to XTC progression, when suddenly I was sideswiped by Ready for the World...

Hilarious in it's inane irony, as I was not in any way "ready" for this tune of my youth. But the first 20ish seconds of this tune had me nearly wetting myself.

Please listen

"..what is good for the geese, is good for the gander"...?

What does that even mean!!?? And why does he have a weird, almost fraudulent

accent when quoting the confusing adage?

So creepy I was compelled to listen to it again and again until I wanted to plunge knitting needles into my eardrums so that no other ridiculousness could enter ever again.I still have no idea as to why this song is on my Ipod, but I am sure that I purposely downloaded it in an effort to have the most awesomely random 80's pop hits on my Ipod.

It then caused me to find the crazy synth links to this song. I had to stop after an hour for fear that I would get sucked into a vortex of synth-soaked weirdness.

Cameo notice the Levar Burton Cameo (pun intended [not really a pun]), I would have thought it would have conflicted with his Reading Rainbow interests..?

Pebbles

Klymaxx

DeBarge

and others too numerous to mention.

So many other crazy one-name groups trapped me in their web of crazy synth, that I decided to pop in my VHS copy of Short Circuit to see if it still held up today..?

And yes, Fisher Stevens' portrayal of an (East) Indian man is still racist.

Mildly amusing, but racist.

The Pathway is Great!

Let the Awesomery In

Sometimes it is difficult to find inspiration when walking the Path. It is then that you must set aside your own frustrations and tribulations…and allow the Awesomery to flow through you. While searching for information for another parable I am currently working on, I found this brilliant beacon of Awesomery. Click this link:

Please bask in this interpretation of a classic tune of yesteryear.

And as always please enlighten others that are ready to walk in the Pathway.

Let the inquest begin...

After being inspired as the Awesomery coursed through my veins earlier this evening, it occurred to me that it would be beneficial for me to take questions from those seeking enlightenment in the ways of Awesomery. So I would encourage those of you walking the Path to direct any inquiries as to the ways of Awesomery directly to me. I will apply my best efforts and understandings as to the ways of the Path to your questions.

Please email or send your comments and I will respond.

Great is the Path.