I went to see a late movie this evening. And to my surprise, I was the only person in the entire theatre. Now this may seem inconsequential to most people, but I found it fascinating.
I began to work through all the various scenarios that would have led to this occurrence. I realize that I was viewing a film that had been released 3+ weeks previous, but I thought that there would be a few stragglers, such as myself, that had yet to have seen the film. Yet alas, I was the sole attendee.
Then I thought that 10:30 pm on a Sunday evening is not exactly the peak moviegoer time slot. While most are at home preparing for the pending work week, I choose to spit in the proverbial face of convention. The Pathway rewards those that buck convention.
Strangely, I found the fact that I was alone in the theatre made me ridiculously paranoid. I laughed aloud a few times throughout the course of the movie, and I found the sound of my own cackle rather obnoxious as it bounced back to me from the theatre’s audio-configured space.
I also began to create all kinds of far-fetched scenarios involving myse
lf and the fact that I was alone in the large auditorium…
Visions of apocalyptic zombie infestations began to fill my head. I started to come up with an exit strategy if a wayward zombie started his/her way up the aisle. But on the other side of the coin, I realized a movie theatre is an ideal place to barricade one’s self.
6-35 movies to view (depending on the multiplex in which you are trapped) you have a volume of entertainment to pass the time until the undead turn to necrophiliac fodder. An abundance of preservative ridden sustenance: popcorn, nachos, hot dogs, and those comically giant (yet delicious) pickles. Once you have barricaded all the doors, all you have to worry about is the cliché of a zombie bursting through the cinema screen. Not even a newly reanimated corpse would be so trite.
After all the thoughts of zombies subsided, my next complex was that of being watched. How strange is it that if I was in an auditorium full of movie-goers, when I would in fact have a multitude of eyes fixed on the back of my head, I would feel less paranoid when I know that I am the only pulse in the room.
Moral…there is none. Let your internal monologue trespass into the mundane. It is the only way I know to let the funny escape. Restraint is overrated. The Pathway is Great!
